she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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