I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
