youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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