I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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