physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
