I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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