i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
