Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How does it feel to date your dad?
Couch. On fire.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
