he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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