Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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