I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
