he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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