I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize