I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
