Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
