guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
