he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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