nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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