I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize