Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
