textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
