Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
