so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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