jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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