I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
someone owes me an orgasm
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
