Screwed.edu
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
