Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
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I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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