Kiss
Puke
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
