spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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