At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
