If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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