She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
