i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?