So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction