he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.