Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden