dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
