i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"