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• (914): View more from New York

  Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight

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• (408): View more from California

  I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.

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• (925): View more from California

  I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine

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