I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.