is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
