i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
