I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
