Who did Billy Mays play for?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
