It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
