Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
