he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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