your room smells of hookers.
And success
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I party with great urgency now.
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