so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
