GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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