her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize