Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
