hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
