i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
