So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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