i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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