how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize