we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
