I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
