there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
