dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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