I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
