try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize