what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
