party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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