Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
