Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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