The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
