P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
