watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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