thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
