I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
