why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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