bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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